First Time a Woman Admired Me – Then Ghosted Me

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First Time a Woman Admired Me – Then Ghosted MeNote: This is a series of events within a dated format for easier reading and understand as to what happened and when things occurred. This story will not use the real names of any of those involved to secure their identities. Some little moments written here may not be 100% accurate as some parts are based from memory. However, the main points of the events did actually happen. This is just another story that shows how I am truly garbage. If you don’t believe that these things happened, you are free to believe so. It’s not like I gained anything from this happening to me anyway. It’s mainly me venting and expressing just another event in my pathetic life that occurred to me… My writing skill isn’t anything to gloat about either, so be prepared for High School level of terribleness.Friday, December 27th, 2019. I walk into work for my swing shift as usual. My Boss calls me to the back of the store to talk me. She tells me that Heather, a co-worker of mine, “like likes” me and that she wanted to go on a date with me. I didn’t know how to react or what to do with the information I was told. It would seem that Heather told my Boss to tell me without Heather telling me directly. However, at the time, I did not know that Heather intentionally wanted me to know this information. I just assumed my Boss couldn’t resist telling me. Being the basic bitch coward that I was/still am, I didn’t contact her for a week and a few days.Monday, January 6th, 2020. I send everyone the work schedule as always. Heather usually replies with “thanks” whenever I send her the work schedule. She didn’t that day.Tuesday, January 7th, 2020. I text and asked her if she got the work schedule. She said yes and thanks. It was then that I decided to attempt a conversation. I asked how she was, she asked how I was and then we started conversing. For the next two days, we had casual conversations via text. Conversations in which we slowly got to know each other. She thought that I was actually cool and not awkward. She even tried to help me with my self-confidence issues.Although with the knowledge that I had of her admiring me to a dating degree, after being previously burned roughly a year and a half ago from a certain incident with Nicole (see my previous story on that one), I was quite hesitant and doubtful anything could even happen from our interactions. I even referred Heather to speak to Nicole to get a more honest opinion about me. Because Nicole was an honest person and wouldn’t hold back anything she knew about me; negative or positive. Basically, I wanted Heather to have a second opinion from someone else about me so she knew what she was getting into with me as a person… Heather didn’t really want to ask Nicole about me, though. She was willing to put up with me despite my horrible flaws.Other conversations and small talk were had, but it was mostly just about her asking about myself and questioning my depressed mindset… Though with how much she was interacting with me, things seemed fine and looking up. Maybe I finally found a friend after three years at my job… Even if it was starting off very rocky.Monday, January 14th, 2020. I worked graveyard shift that night and sent bahis siteleri the schedule to everyone. After work, I decided to send another text message saying good morning and start a conversation. Knowing that she wanted to go on a date with me, I decided to try to make an effort. I asked her if she wanted to go to a nearby park, meet up and just have a walk and talk. She said she couldn’t, but we could plan for it on a different day… Heather had been going through a lot with her family around this time. Said that she needed distractions to help her cope with the stress. I decided to send images that I had on my phone of a bird that had wondered around my parking area. She thought the bird was super cute… I guess it helped her out a bit. The conversation ended shortly after.Saturday, January 18th, 2020. There was a schedule change. Boris couldn’t come in for his 6-3, so I had to fill in for him. Coincidentally, this meant that I would work with Heather for the first time since a few months ago during her training period when she first showed up. It was kind of awkward; it always is when you’re interacting in person. I’m always a hot mess when interacting and socializing with women. It was just the two of us at work for a few hours, but we were mostly kind of quiet to each other for long stretches of time. Mostly just us doing our jobs and helping customers. At one point, I decided to take action and just start something; to break the ice. It did work and we kind of talked for a little bit about the things she was going through. Though I felt like I was being awkward and an embarrassment in some of the things I said. However, once another co-worker showed up for their shift, I couldn’t find the bravery to interact much with Heather further. At this point, I only had one hour left with Heather at work and I was struggling to come up with anything to talk about… We were just doing our jobs.After the end of her shift, I sent her a text apologizing for my awkwardness at work. She said she could tell that I was doing my best and not to worry. I mentioned that the working environment isn’t a great place to converse; that I’m just plain bad at conversing. That Heather would have more fun and interest conversing with my other co-workers. She said that she gets along with everybody, but me because she knows everybody and has a form of contact except for me. In comparison, that day was awesome to her. That I smiled, that I made her day better, that she saw my efforts as a lot more good than bad. I refused to believe that anything I did that day was considered a good experience…Afterwards, we continued to text each other about the events that occurred during that work day, our co-workers, how tough it is for Heather being a woman, how tough it is being a mother, her struggles with her history in life, our own personal struggles. She told me a lot about herself. Things that I suppose she had been wanting to get off her mind for a while. Things that were burdening her. A lot of which that made me feel so bad for her. Heather had went through a lot; more than I could imagine. And yet, she seemed so positive, strong and brave. Qualities that I wish I shared. At some point brought up the issue I had with canlı bahis siteleri Nicole. I didn’t tell her the whole story. No way I could ever tell anyone personally about that… But I asked Heather for advice how I could try to cure the stigma I had with Nicole. And while Heather gave me some advice, in the back of my mind I was afraid of what happened with Nicole also happening with Heather.That day was the longest conversation we had via text with each other. And I remember afterwards feeling mixed with positivity and heavy concerns for where Heather and I were going in this supposed companionship… Though I could kind of feel as if she was losing interest in me as a potential lover and more towards seeing me as a friend…Monday, January 20th, 2020. I sent the schedule to everyone. Heather is displeased that we wouldn’t work together on her last week at work. Seeing as we wouldn’t be able to work together again, she did mention that she would be willing to stop by work just to visit. I mention that she wouldn’t have to visit just for my sake… I brought up the walk in the park idea again to try and see if we could hang out that way, but she didn’t respond to it at all.Sunday, January 26th, 2020. I had not heard from Heather in a while, so I decided to message her on my behalf. See how she was after her last day. She said she was going to miss everybody at work. I mentioned that at least her last day did not end on a bad note overall. And that was all that was said…Monday, January 27th, 2020. I decided to try to converse again via text messaging. I asked her what she will do now that isn’t working. I also sent her an image of one of my roommates pets. She told me that she wanted to go back to school; to college. To get a job that makes good money to support herself and her c***d, but at the time, she didn’t know what to do in general… She also loved the image of my roommates pet.Tuesday, January 28th, 2020. I sent her another image of my roommates pet. She said it was so cute. I told her what the pets name was and how old it was. That was the whole conversation that day.Saturday, February 1st, 2020. I send her another message asking about how she is doing. Said she wasn’t doing too great. Got into an argument with her father. Said she wanted to get away from her father due to the stress her father was giving her. I tried my best to console her about the issue, but I think I might have done more harm than good… The conversation only lasted five to six four sentence messages… Nothing else was said afterwards…Saturday, February 8th, 2020. I greet her via text again. She says hello roughly seven hours later. I reply back saying that I just wanted to say hello and that was all…Sunday, February 9th, 2020. I apologize to her saying that I was screwing everything up. She didn’t say anything that whole day.Monday, February 10th, 2020. She sends me a response 23 hours later saying that I’m an amazing guy to know. That she didn’t understand why I view myself as a horrible person. She said that having a dull personality doesn’t make me a bad person; just that it makes me different. She doesn’t know me all that much, but she thought I was pretty great from what she did know. I tell her canlı bahis that my faults don’t help me stand out or be interesting. But I also ask her how she was doing and if things had calmed down with her family. She tells me that no one should feel that way, but also that things were looking better for her. Slowly, but surely things were getting better for her and her c***d.I ask her at the end if she was more comfortable talking vocally over the phone instead of texting as by this point, our texting had been diminishing and diminishing in length. I figured that maybe talking over the phone would be easier for her. She doesn’t respond at all for several days.Friday, February 14th, 2020. I wish her Happy Valentines Day. She replies back with the same. Nothing more was said after that. That was the whole day. I feel like dogshit…Monday, February 24th, 2020. I send her a message asking how she was doing and if she wanted to talk vocally over the phone again. No reply… I’m starting to fear the worst.Friday, February 28th, 2020. I try again texting her if she was OK. How she was doing. No reply… At this point, I had set my mind to the fact that I had been ghosted. Abandoned. Avoided. I asked that if I was the problem, that I understood and that I was sorry…Thursday, March 26th, 2020. After not hearing from Heather for several weeks, I sent one final message as a last attempt to maybe hear something. A last ditch effort. I apologized for everything wrong I did towards her and accepted my deserved silence that I gained from her. I also hoped she was doing OK during this COVID-19 pandemic. As of now? She never replied. The last real interaction we had was on Valentines Day. I never heard from her ever again.Heather and I did not ever meet up in person to talk. We never went on a date. We never talked to each other vocally except on our last interaction at work in person. No flirting was done. No teases were attempted. Nothing lewd or sensual happened. We didn’t exchange images of each other. We mainly talked to each other via text messaging. She went from feeling admiration towards me to friendship to acquaintanceship to straight avoiding and ghosting me. I failed yet again. Unlike my experience with Nicole, it wasn’t due to interacting personally. However, much like Nicole, both tried to get to know me and once they did, once they open they opened their eyes and saw me for the failure that I was, they knew very well to keep their distance and to stop interacting with me. It would seem that those who want to get to know me that once they do, they realize that I’m a piece of shit garbage loser that I’m not worth the time.I never had someone admit that they wanted to date me. Ever. It may not have been admitted to me directly by Heather, but I still never heard of anyone with intentions to date me. Me. ME! Why one anyone… Of course I would have my doubts. WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER WANT TO DEAL WITH ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT I AM?! I’m a fucking loser! Who would waste their time?! I had my doubts that whatever Heather wanted with me that it was never, ever going to actually amount to anything. And lo and behold, of course it didn’t. She did herself a favor and avoided a lot of disappointment. She deserves waaay better than some fuckwad like me in her life…And now… now I am alone once again. No friends. Nothing. Back to zero. Back to being useless. Back to being nothing. To this day, I still feel so hurt by her abandonment…

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