I Never Did That

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{I will bet I have started this story no less than a dozen times, written myself into a corner and then began again.

I don’t believe it either, so I will just write it the way it happened.

Not very erotic, the wife and I don’t swing…well, not really.

I also changed some places and names, some of you guys snoop and my other attempts might have had a few of you wanting to swing by.}

I dabble a little bit on the auctions sites to pick up some cash. No big deal there, that started out with some fishing poles and a few odds and ends around the house that my wife Debra and I share here on the Oregon coast.

Then I got an email from a warehouse salesman I knew way back, the warehouse he works for only sells stuff cases at a time, so they had some “dead” inventory.

Cheap! I mean, REAL cheap, like expensive items at scrap prices!

I know opportunity when I see it, but it meant going to Henderson to check this out.

Plus I don’t have any money, my Social Security check is now $934.00 a month after the big raise we just got.

Debs, on the other hand has some. We agreed early on that what was hers was hers and what was mine was mine, so while it might sound odd, I had no clue at all how much she had.

So I told her about the deal, she thought for a minute and it hit her too.

“Ok, honey. Let’s go, check it out. I will finance it if it looks OK, for 20% of the profits.” She grinned at me.

Debs as I call her is a Registered Nurse Practitioner, I have written about her before so no need to go into a lot of detail other than to say she is one very uninhibited lady.

Geriatrics is her specialty, which means older folks.

Like me, now 68.

Sex to her is a part of being alive and healthy, so if she can help a client with any issues, to her it’s a good thing.

That attitude has led to a few things happening that some folks might consider strange but to my wife, sex and fantasies about sex are normal.

Debs is 58, I think. It just struck me as I sit here that I am not sure about that. I know she looks way too young for me, far closer to mid forties now that the two of us have been going to a local gym.

At first that damn near killed me off, after the first session I was so sore I was miserable. Then I had a damn stroke, I wrote about that also so no reason to repeat it here.

I am healthy now, just under 200 pounds and probably in the best shape I have been in since I was in my forties myself.

Exercise seems to help the love muscle, that is something I can testify to.

Especially with my Debs now coming in at 128 pounds, down from the 155 when we met. She was a fox to me back then, now?


Her new appearence even helps at the clinic, every old fart in the County wants to be on her client list.

That part is funny as hell, about half of them come in complaining about not being able to “perform” like they think they should, and Debra has no concerns at all about checking things out for them.

She told me with a giggle that give or take 3-4 times every single day she has some old coot with a hard on poking out at her in her office.

Debs can tell which ones really have concerns and which ones don’t though. Plus she never does anything except when someone is really ill or there is a problem. In those cases it’s a referral or down the hall to the little room, fill the cup.

Sometimes, not always even doing that is a problem, then in comes one of the nurses.

Yea, I know. You don’t believe that? I don’t care, that happened to me the very first time I was in that clinic. Olivia was the Nurse I was assigned to, after 20 minutes of effort she sent in some middle aged lady to help me, she had the sample and was back out the door before it even registered on me what was happening.

See? Here I go, off rambling again.

Back to the story.


Debs and I stayed at a hotel called the Venetian. Fancy place to look at, the room we had was nice but the air conditioning didn’t work and we couldn’t get the closet door open.

Then the safe was locked, it had these buttons on it and without the password we couldn’t get it open.

Debs had $3000.00 in cash in her purse so we called the desk, not wanting to pack that around all at once.

Debs was in the shower when the service guy knocked, I let him in, not even thinking about it.

He looked to be around 30 or so, a middle east looking guy.

The guy used some kind of pass code and had the door to the tiny little safe open in seconds. He was explaining to me how to use it when Debs walked in from the bathroom section of our suite.

Naked as a jaybird.

“Oops!” She said, grinned and back into the bathroom she went but not before the guy got a good look.

He glanced at me, his face went a bit red, at least it looked that way to me. Hard to tell since his skin was a bit dark.

“Sorry. I guess I should have warned her.” I managed.

“No problem, we see people like that in their rooms all the time.” He then grinned like we had done it deliberately or something.

“Usually bahis firmaları not that nice, though.” He gave me an even bigger grin, then he left.

“I think that guy liked you!” I told Debs as soon as she came back out. She had a towel wrapped around herself this time.

“Yea, I heard him. See, honey? I still have it!” She bounced up and down on tiptoe which made her big boobs threaten to slip out from under the towel.

That stuff nearly always makes me react, and it did, so I reached out and grabbed the edge of the towel and tugged.

“Quit it, I want to get dressed and go downstairs.” She scooted away from me.

45 minutes later she came back out, how in the hell it can take 45 minutes to pull on some panties, a bra and a dress is beyond me.

“Yow!” I exclaimed when I saw her.

Trace of makeup, her hair brushed out so much it was shiney, no way in hell was there any bra under the top of that dress! I know how big her boobs are and I could see most of them. It came to midway down her thighs, about as short as I ever saw her wear.

Not like the outfits we see the young girls wear in today’s world, those often are barely above the crotch of their panties, but this outfit on Debs looked sexy as hell.

“You like?” She did a little spin.

“Yea.” I groaned.

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, sweetie.” She gave me a smirk.

Just then there was a knock on the door.

“Want me to flash this guy too?” Debra grinned.

“Let’s don’t and say we did.” I told her, opening the door.

This one was a pretty 25-30 year old looking blond, she looked at me with a smile, then at Debs with an even bigger smile.

“You called about a closet door being stuck?” She asked.

I showed her the problem, she took a look at it.

“I don’t think they built this place right, the whole thing is settling. Oh well, it gives me a job, I guess.”

She did something to the track the door slid on, sprayed it with some kind of lube and worked it back and forth.

“Here is my direct number, call if it gives you any more trouble. Of it you…need anything?” The woman was looking at my wife when she said that.

“I think she liked you!” I told Debs with a laugh as soon as the woman left.

Debra just grinned at me.

“Terry Harmon, maintenance.” The card read. I stuck it in my wallet.

Just as I was going to ask Debs if she was ready, someone again knocked on the door.

“This place is turning into a freeway!” Debra mumbled and went back into the bathroom.

“Hi, I’m Jack Harmon, you called about the air conditioning?” A nice looking mid forties man stood there. He was about my size, slight balding with rugged features.

“Harmon? There was a blond lady just here that fixed the closet.” I asked.

“Yea, that’s Terry, my wife. She works here too.” He grinned, and began fiddling with the air conditioner.

Debra came out of the bathroom with a hairbrush, the man looked over at her and gave her a long look up and down. Debra cocked her head, then smiled at his gaze. He glanced back at me, then began to fiddle with the cooler.

“I reset it, second time this week for this one. I don’t think they built this place right.” His wife had said exactly the same thing.

“I guess it makes for a job, then?” I couldn’t help myself.

“Yep, that’s for sure. Well, you are all fixed up. Say, don’t miss the show in the lounge tonight, the band is great! Terry and I go in after work and listen ourselves.” Jack was grinning Debra’s way when he said that.

“Thanks, maybe we will.” I showed him out.

“I think that guy liked you too!” I laughed at Debs who made a face.

We went downstairs and managed to lose a couple hundred bucks, then we found a cafe and ate.

Nothing much happened, there were people everywhere but most of them were dressed nicely so no one really noticed us.

Back in our room, Debra went to put her cash in the safe but it wouldn’t open.

“Shit! Now what do we do? We have $2500 in there and the password doesn’t work.” She said.

“Call them up again.” Debs went and rang for service.

“They said they would send someone right up. Hey, want me to flash the guy again?” She said with a smirk.

“If you want to.” I laughed. The poor guy had gotten all red faced before when Debs came out naked, that was funny.

“OK. Watch this.” She was giggling. I know my wife is naughty but she was being more naughty than normal, something about Vegas I guess.

She tugged her dress over her head, that was when I realized she didn’t have any panties on either.

In fact, except for her shoes, Debs didn’t have anything on at all.

Then she stepped out of her shoes.

I would have just gone over and jumped on her since now I was in the mood but the service guy was coming.

She reached into the closet and took out a white fuzzy robe, pulled it on but didn’t tie it very snugly. Then she went and sat on the edge of the bed, crossed her legs underneath her and picked up the newspaper the hotel supplied.

Of course the lower portion kaçak iddaa gaped open, it left enough shadow that I could almost see her bare beaver that she keeps hairless now.

I shook my head, then went to answer the door when the knock came.

It wasn’t the middle east guy, it was Jack.

“You guys are having a hell of a time, aren’t you?” He came in and went to the safe. Debs was sitting there in plain sight but he didn’t seem to notice.

It only took seconds and he had it open.

“Hmmm. Seems to work. Maybe you transposed a digit or something?” He asked when he came around the corner.

That was when he noticed Debra and the way she was sitting.

“Maybe I did, I will be more careful, sorry.” She grinned up at him over the top of her newspaper.

Jack looked at her, I saw his eyes drop down and back up, then he smiled.

“Hey, Terry and I have a little sideline business, maybe you two would be interested?” He said, after a moment.

“And what is that?” Debs asked him, raising one eyebrow.

“We do what is called a tandem massage, both of you at once. It’s nice and relaxing, we are both professionals. We would do that full time, but she gets plenty of business for herself, I don’t.”

“Being a guy and all.” He added, suddenly looking slightly nervous.

“I see. You mean most prefer to hire a woman?”

“Well, yes. I prefer to work on women, I do men sometimes but….”

“Homosexuals?” Debra looked right at him, I could see she was enjoying the hell out of this.

“Well. Yes, I’m not…I mean….so I don’t…”

“Massages aren’t supposed to be sexual.” Debs told him.

“Yes, I know, but. I mean…this is Las Vegas, so Terry has to put up with a lot.” He answered.

This conversation was killing me, I was doing everything I could to not just break out laughing.

Here this guy was standing right in front of Debra, her robe was open at the crotch and her bare beaver was right on the edge of being on display and he was struggling to not look but losing every few seconds.

Debs looked over at me.

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?” She asked me.

I shrugged.

“Got a card?” Debs asked him. He reached in his pocket and handed her one.

“What time?” She asked him.

“We get off at 10, how about 11 PM?”

“OK.” She told him.

“What did you just do?” I asked Debs the moment he left.

“What the heck, I haven’t had a massage from anyone but July back home for at least five years.” She grinned at me.

“No way am I going to let that guy touch me.” I said.

“It’s a tandem, that means his wife works on you and Jack works on me. It’s probably going to get a bit naughty, is that all right?” Debs asked me.

I grinned. God do I love my wife!

We had two hours to kill since it was just after nine PM, so we went downstairs and lost a dab of money. That would have been worse but Debra hit a tripled triple bar thing that paid $360.

I was the king of the cherries, it seemed. I did try a penny machine but it took my $20 almost instantly, then I figured out it was 500 pennies.

Hell, why not just make it a $5 machine and be done with it?

Back upstairs, we cuddled on the bed and watched TV.

Then just before they were due to arrive, Debs and I hopped in the shower and scrubbed each other down.

I guess I was mildly nervous because I jumped a little bit when the knock came at the door.

They both had on blue jeans and a white T-shirt, Terry’s hair still looked a little bit damp like they had both just showered. We were both in robes the hotel supplied.

They breezed in, in just a couple of minutes they had two tables set up side by side. They covered those with sheets, then produced two small soft towels.

“You can use these for a drape over your fanny.” Terry told us. I looked, the thing would cover our behinds but that was all.

Which meant Debs would be topless?

I looked at her.

She looked at me.

Then they both stepped into the bathroom to wash up while we got ourselves situated.

I looked at Debs again, she looked back at me. We both shrugged and got up on the table. I reached back and tugged the small drape over my bare behind as Debs did the same.

Debs and I have both had lots of rubdowns, her friend named July comes over to our house at least twice a month.

This one started out just like every one we ever had except with July we are always nude.

There is a certain fascination with watching your mate being worked on in a bit on the intimate side setting. I watched as Jack rubbed my wife’s legs, he stopped short of the towel each time though.

Terry was doing the same to me, it felt pretty good but she also stopped just short of the edge of the towel.

Then it was up and over our backs, those long delicious strokes that can put a person into dream land.

A couple of times when Terry reached out to complete a stroke her breasts brushed my back, it was clear she had no bra on.

Jack was taller so he could reach Debs rather easily, and by the time they kaçak bahis asked us to turn over nothing out of the ordinary had happened other than both of them were very good.

Debs looked at me with a smirk as she turned over, the towel covered her from the waist down so her big boobs were going to be bare.

I did notice her face was slightly red.

Then I saw that Jack had a strip of cloth he got from his carry bag, and as Debs rolled to her back he expertly tugged it over her breasts at the same time.

I was almost dissapointed.

This time they both began with our shoulders, Terry didn’t seem to mind rubbing my chest. I do like that and like most men, my nipples are as sensitive as any female’s.

I could see Jack out of the corner of my eye, he was being respectful and his hands were stopping at the top of the small strip of cloth he had used over her breasts.

Just as it popped into my head that there was no need to worry about anything happening in Vegas, Jack leaned down and said something to her.

“Sure, no problem. I’m not bashful.” Debs answered.

With that, Jack slipped the breast drape off and folded it up, dropping it in his carry case. He turned back and began to massage Debra’s big breasts, using both hands on each one, alternating.

I turned my head to watch, noticing he didn’t touch her nipples at all. After a few minutes of that, he switched to her stomach and began some clockwise circles.

I realized by now that Terry was doing the same thing to me, I was so engrossed in what Jack was doing that I nearly spaced out the fact that I had a very pretty female’s hands on me.

Then Terry’s hand dragged slowly across where my pubic hair would be, if I had any. Debs arranged for me to get myself waxed months before, I have that story posted here also.

“Is this all right?” Terry asked me in a soft voice.

I nodded, in short order she was swinging her hand so far down that if I had a full erection, there would be no way to avoid it.

Just as I felt myself begin to react, Terry switched to the front of my legs. Her hands were slick and going very high, I felt her lightly brush my testicles several times.

That tickled a little bit and I came fully erect. The end of my cock poked out above the top of the towel, Terry reached down and tugged it back up.

She smiled when I glanced up at her.


I could see that Jack was doing the same thing to Debra, she had a familiar expression on her face, her eyes closed. I turned my head, Jack was very close but not actually touching her and her nipples had flattened out like they do when she is excited.

Then the session was done. That was almost startling, I mean, I was thinking…?

Hell, I don’t know what I was thinking.

They again stepped into the bathroom as we both got back into our robes.

Debs paid them when they came back out, Jack told us that if we wanted another massage to call any time.

Just as they were leaving, Jack stopped at the door and grinned at me.

“We have to be careful, this State is tough on those of us in the profession.” I glanced at Terry, she winked at me, then they left.

“Well, that wasn’t very sexy or kinky but it sure was a damn good massage!” Debs said, stretching her arms over her head.

“Your titties were bare, that guy was..rubbing them?” I said.

“No big deal, I am sure he has done that before with others.” Debs shrugged.

I nodded, we went to bed and both of us slept like a log. One would think we would have gotten it on all over the hotel room but we were both now exhausted.


We met Max, the salesman at the warehouse a few miles outside of town.

That was interesting, we first were driving along looking at brown nothing, then over a small rise there were rows and rows of metal buildings, no signs on any of them.

Inside were stacks and stack of cardboard boxes, just part numbers on them.

I knew what some of those part numbers were, I had had them in my hands years before.

That took some time, I was grabbing everything I recognized.

“$106,632.00,” Max totaled it up and looked at me.

I blinked. Guess I got greedy.

“I….Uhhh….” I began, giving Debs a sidelong glance.

She pulled out her checkbook.


“OK. The truck will be here at 3 PM, come on out and I will help you load.” Max grinned.

“Load?” I asked.

“Yea, at these prices the boss won’t pay for any crew.” Max said.


It was just after 6 PM when we finished, like a trooper Debra jumped right in and helped, so did Max. Those cartons weighed close to 80 pounds each and we had to stack the truck six rows high.

I am 68 years old.

By the time we got back to the hotel after Max took us out for a nice dinner, I was ready for someone to give the the last rites.

“Why don’t I call that Jack and Terry couple, see if we get lucky?” Debs asked when she saw me groaning in our room.

“Lucky?” I asked.

“I mean, lucky in that maybe they are available.” Debra giggled at me, as she rubbed my shoulders.

“Oh. OK.”

I guess we were lucky, Terry answered and said they would be right over. In fact, they were there so fast we didn’t even have time to shower, so we did that while they were setting up.

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