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Dilemma is a Greek word meaning a problem which offers two possibilities neither of which is unambiguously acceptable or preferable. Another way that I’ve seen this being put to words is: “finding oneself impaled upon the horns of a dilemma”. This phrase directly refers to the horns of a bull where both are equally sharp, uncomfortable and dangerous. Dilemmas of love can be all those things…
Once more I would like to dedicate this story to my wife. She’s the love of my life and my endless source of inspiration. I would also like to thank my fans, all those people who took the time to read my stories and vote for them and all of you who took the time to leave a comment or write an e-mail. This is very important for me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This is the longest story I’ve ever written and it’s definitely not a quick fix. There are quite a few sexy scenes described but these are not the main focus of this text. If this is not your cup of tea please exit now, you have been warned. Although this is a lesbian romance story there is an extensive hetero scene described. If you’re not okay with that you can also exit now. There are also scenes were physical and psychological violence is used. You have been warned. All characters are of a legal age and entirely the product of my overzealous imagination.
Whenever you see italic text within a chapter this depicts the innermost thoughts of the character through whom we’re viewing a scene. At the start of each chapter you’ll find the name of the main character. Also present within this text are sentences and phrases in Greek. I’ve provided adequate translations within parentheses as needed, to the best of my ability. Where at a certain point more extensive translations or explanations were needed I’ve provided notes at the end of this text.
“Dilemmas of Love” is a sequel of sorts to “The Three Traditions of Pink”. Most of the characters found here have made their appearance there so it is advisable that you read that first if you haven’t already done so.
I do hope you’ll enjoy this as much as I did writing it,
Chapter 1 (Chloe)
The rhythmic, binary sound of her cellphone brought Chloe back to the reality of her surroundings. She had been slugging it out for hours, desperately trying to find a tolerable method to differentiate between the various forms of realism. Her exams where coming up and her desk was crammed with textbooks, papers and her laptop. She had been studying for six hours straight; she had started in the evening and now it was dark outside. For the past hour she had been fighting a losing battle with herself; her eyes simply refused to focus and the text was just dancing about.
Her dimly lit basement room felt a bit chilly. Her growling stomach reminded her that turning down the dinner offer that Emma and Abigail had extended earlier on had not been such a good idea. Chloe sat straight on her swivel chair and leisurely stretched like a cat taking in her surroundings. Her private space, she mused. For the past nine months she called this basement her home.
When Emma had moved in with Abigail, she had thought of this wild plan as a spur of the moment thing. Her whirlwind redhead friend had proposed that she move in with them. Being assigned a brand new roommate smack in the middle of the academic year wasn’t the best of plans, Emma reasoned. Abigail had readily agreed and they practically made her an offer she couldn’t resist; she wouldn’t pay any rent, she’d just chip in what she could for the bills and the food. And it had worked surprisingly well so far except…well except for those moments when Abigail and Emma where staring at each other like puppies, but hey, who could blame them. They were deeply in love with each other and they were almost always very discreet. And in any case, it was their home she was living in.
Picking up her phone she checked the display. It read “Text Message from GT”.
Swiping her phone to life she opened the message: “Hey there babe. Was wondering if I could come over for some R&R… (Wink)”
Christ Trev…I’m neck deep in crap and all you can think of is poking the whiskers? What to do…what to do? I’ll probably just say yes shake him off. Can’t be bothered with any drama right now. What’s the time again? Shit! It’s half past ten! I still have mountains to go through! And I have to get up early tomorrow…
Trevor Gilford, also known as “GT” was Chloe’s boyfriend…sort of. She had known him for quite a while and he had been persistent. Chloe didn’t exactly have a list of suitors waiting on her so she finally acquiesced to dating him. Trevor wasn’t a bad guy so to speak. He was a good student and was polite towards Chloe. His behavior was mature for his age; he didn’t go binge drinking or partying or do any of those crazy stuff that college boys their age tended to do. But Chloe knew that she didn’t love him. It just wasn’t there. She casino şirketleri cared about him but she didn’t love him.
And the sex…well the sex was oh-kay-but… there just wasn’t any spark in it and certainly it was nothing like the mind-numbing stuff that Emma would yap about with starry looking eyes. Their first time happened when Chloe decided to give it a try. And Trev really did try to bring her to orgasm, but somehow it never happened. Chloe would either fake it or wait for him to leave and then use her fingers or whatnot to bring herself off. In short, Trevor wasn’t a bad guy but that statement largely explained the problem: he really didn’t make Chloe’s heart jump. And ever since they included sex in their relationship he’d always want to do that.
Isn’t that what couples should want to do when they’re together though?
It’s just that without really planning for it, sex had degenerated into something that Chloe used to keep Trevor happy and away for a while. Without anything being said or done they had grown a bit more distanced this past month. Chloe had used their upcoming finals as an excuse to avoid seeing him. But tonight, she was really tired, she knew that she honestly wouldn’t get any more productive studying done and well…
I’ll just tell him to come over for a quickie to get him off my back. I really ought to clear this thing up…But not now…The last thing I want right now is emotional drama…Brrrr…
Picking up her phone she speed dialed him.
“Hey babe, got my text?”
“Hey Trev. Yeah…”
“And? Shall I come over?”
“Yeah…But Trev? Only for a little while okay? The girls are upstairs and I’ve got mountains to do and…”
“Just relax babe…All I want to do is make you feel good. I promise to keep it short. I’ll be by your backyard door in say…ten?”
“Just be careful not to make any noise. Give me a ring and I’ll come and open up.”
And with that she pressed the red phone button killing the conversation.
Christ! Why did I think this was a good idea again? Oh yeah! Because telling him that we’re most probably through is an even worse proposition. And what does “most probably” even mean? We’re either through or we aren’t! We are, but we don’t want to face it. Correction: I don’t want to face it!
The brunette made no beautification attempts and instead focused upon preparing her desk for the coming day’s study-a-thon. Besides, why worry about clothes and stuff when all Trevor actually wanted was to take them off. Her sweats where just fine for that she reckoned. Easy to take off, easy to put back on.
Just as she had finished tidying up her notes her mobile rang once which was code for Trevor being outside her door. Chloe made a quick check on her pill calendar to see whether she was up to date. The last thing she wanted was (yikes!) an unwanted pregnancy and missing one’s pills could result in just that. Satisfied with what she saw she hustled towards the door. Looming on the outside was Trevor’s hunched figure.
Opening up she was offered a kiss on the lips which she reluctantly accepted.
“Heyah babe! It’s been a while! You alright? You don’t look so bright.”
“Yeah, rough day…I’ve been at it for hours…my head’s about to burst open.”
“That’s what I thought. That’s why I decided to stop over…you know…to help you relax…”
Not to mention to get your rocks off!
“…We…we’ve got to keep it short okay? The girls are upstairs and I’m always nervous when they are. Plus it’s a weekday, I’ve got mountains of work to do…”
“Just chill babe and let me make you feel good. Com’ere!”
Trevor kissed her on the lips once more, his tongue seeking to enter her mouth. Without really being into it, Chloe opened her mouth and their tongues danced a little. Trevor had her body wedged between his legs sideways and soon both his hands where roaming over her body. She could already feel his hardening erection pressing against her flank as his hands groped her pussy over her sweatpants.
Mmmmmm…that rubbing thing might do some good…a little bit to the left…nope…not that left! Yes! There! No! Hey! Don’t stop! That felt nice! What’s he up to now?
Trevor guided his girlfriend away from the basement entrance and into the adjacent washroom. With his strong arms he made Chloe bend over the washing machine all the while tugging at her waist band. The brunette could feel her sweats and panties glide down her legs as they finally rested near her ankles. She closed her eyes in anticipation. Meanwhile Trevor had sunk to the floor and was sitting cross-legged behind her. Sticking out his tongue he tentatively gave her pussy a few exploratory licks before burying his face in it.
Mmmmmm…yes…that could be something! Yeah…keep that tongue twirling! No, not there…no…don’t change that, it was good! Oh…okay…tongue is back in place…oh…new angle…Fingers! Are his fingers clean? Did he touch the floor before he entered casino firmaları me? Ughhh…yes…that spot feels nice! But? What’s that finger doing there? I told him I don’t like fingers up my ass! Get that off!
Rather brusquely she pushed the offending finger away.
“What’s up babe?”
“You know I don’t like it when you do that.”
“Okay, okay…don’t get all wound up! Sorry…”
Chloe sighed once more as Trevor continued his ministrations. Her mind however was totally off, she’d never be able to orgasm now.
I’ll just have to fake it (sigh). Better get over with this…
A few sighs here and a few shakes of her body there and Chloe soon pushed Trevor’s face away.
“You done babe?”
“Yeah…I think so…”
“You think so?”
“It was nice. I’m good! Your turn now!”
Trevor got back up and guided his erect dick on her exposed entrance. Pushing inside, she could feel his tip as it entered. She wasn’t really lubricated and the feeling wasn’t the most pleasurable on earth but she said nothing. He retreated and pushed inside more forcefully this time. Chloe winced as his shaft gradually sank inside. She was dry to begin with but thankfully her vagina managed to respond with a bit of lubrication to make his thrusting palpable.
Just as the feeling was starting to get bearable, she heard a loud grunting noise and could sense Trevor’s sperm as it shot inside her.
Goddammit Trevor I’m going to kill you!
Chloe briskly pulled away; her sudden maneuver caused Trevor to flinch with sensitivity.
“Babe, why’d you pull away so fast? I hadn’t finished yet…”
Chloe hissed her anger towards him. “Trevor! I’ve told you a thousand times that I hate it when you do that! First of all I find it totally gross! How’d you like it if twenty minutes from now you sat wherever and you could feel this liquid shit trickling down your thighs? And most important of all…” Chloe had raised her voice considerably by now “…you could leave me pregnant you jerk!”
“But babe…you’re on the pill! That can’t happen!”
“I’m on the pill for medical reasons Trev…For crying out loud! We’ve been through this before! I don’t fucking like it when you do that!”
“I’m sorry babe…I didn’t want to get you all worked up…Come ‘ere…”
Trevor made a move to hug her but the brunette instinctively pulled away.
“What? No hug?”
Trevor sounded genuinely wounded.
For fuck’s sake Trev! I don’t need this shit okay? This is not exactly the best moment in the world but…
“Trevor…I don’t think this is working…I’d like us to be…just friends…”
“What? What are you talking about? Why? I said I’m sorry! I…”
“Trev…” Chloe moved closely now her voice subdued. “It’s not your fault and I’m not really angry about before. Well I am but that’s not the point. You deserve someone who truly loves you and I’m not that person for you…”
“But…I…you seemed so happy! I…Can’t we…I mean…after our exams it’ll be better. You’re probably stressed. I shouldn’t have come…how about I buy you dinner tomorrow?”
Chloe, head downcast, mechanically helped Trevor re-adjust his pants and jeans. In a soft, conciliatory tone she offered: “I’ll always care about you…please don’t think badly about me but the truth is I never loved you…So the honest thing to do here is to let you go…”
Trevor looked positively stunned now.
Please just go!
“I can tell that this is really it then…But why?”
“Trev…it’s not your fault, it’s mine…I shouldn’t have led you on all that time. I want us to be friends though, can we?”
“Yeah…whatever…can I…could I maybe have a last kiss then? To remember you by?”
Chloe smiled sadly. Closing her eyes to fight off a surprising appearance of tears, she felt the slightest of touches upon her lips. And…that was it…A six month relationship sealed with a kiss and a thank you miss. No drama, no fuss, just like Chloe wanted. And yet why was it that she felt so miserable for letting him go?
“Bye Chloe…” The last few words ringed so strangely in Chloe’s ears that she had to bite hard on her lips not to cry. Because if that started she feared she’d simply disintegrate.
Please go Trevor…please…
As if reading her mind, Trevor turned and silently left.
Is it schizophrenic if you feel relief and pain at the same time? I really could use a hug right now!
Chloe sat there hugging her legs. Her eyes were stinging and yet they refused to let go of their tears.
The brunette wearily trudged up the stairs. Opening the door to the ground floor she peered about. There was light spilling out from the living room and the faint noises of a film playing in the background could be heard. Her friends where obviously relaxing after dinner, she reckoned. Quietly, she tip-toed towards the source of the light. Peering inside, she could see her redhead ex-roommate güvenilir casino snuggled inside Abigail’s protective embrace as they watched yet another episode of the “Game of Thrones” series.
The scene felt painfully intimate to Chloe. Painful, because she realized that she too yearned for such closeness and comfort. Although she would have liked nothing more in the world right now than a soul-soothing chat with her house-mates, they were so serenely peaceful that the brunette couldn’t stomach interrupting them. She turned about and as silently as she could, tried to tip-toe her way back to the staircase. A loose wood panel on the floor however had other plans and a loud creak was heard.
Startled, Abigail sat up on the sofa. “Who’s there? Chloe? Is that you?”
Shit! They’re going to think I’m stalking them!
“Yeah, it’s me…ummm…sorry you guys…I didn’t want to creep up on you…”
By now Emma had sprung on her feet. “Are you alright Chloe? You don’t look very well…have you been crying? Your eyes are all red!”
No…don’t mention crying…now I’m really going to cry!
“I…ummm…I could use a hug…”
Both Abigail and Emma rushed towards her just in time for the first sob. Chloe collapsed in the redhead’s embrace as Abigail protectively hugged them both.
“Hush baby…hush now…it’s alright…whatever it is will be alright…”
Chloe had a good, solid cry inside her friend’s embrace and after a couple of minutes felt much better for it. Sniffing her nose, she gently parted their embrace.
“Ughh…thanks you guys…that felt so good…Sorry for ruining your moment…”
“Shut up you wierdo…that’s what we’re here for! You ruined nothing in any case, we were half asleep in front of the TV…So what gives?”
“You got any ice-cream left-over from yesterday?”
Emma shared a look with her blonde lover. They both knew that ice-cream was Chloe’s comfort food of choice. If it got down to ice-cream then something noteworthy was afoot.
Once in the kitchen they each got a spoon and begun to ravage the Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie straight out of the tub.
“…mmmmm…I’m such a pig for doing this…but this feels soooo good…”
“So…what is it that required this emergency ice-cream session Chloe?”
“Ummm…well…I just broke up with Trevor…”
Abigail and Emma looked questioningly one another. “But you were really into him! You’d always sing his praise. What happened? Did you two have a fight or something?”
Oh God…here goes…
Chloe put her spoon down and rubbed her temples. The day’s work load and events crept up on her and she felt weary. “I guess you guys deserve a proper explanation I think…
As Em over here knows, Trevor is a classmate of ours in some of our courses. When you two pigeons left for your love nest…yeah Em, yeah Abi I’m looking at you two…anyways when you first rented this place I was suddenly all alone. Trev had been on my case for some time, he had asked me out twice before but I shot him down. When Em finally left, Trev made a third attempt…he was really sweet about it too…and our redhead friend decided to play cheerleader for him as well…that he’s a good guy…you should date more often…yada, yada, yada…
…anyways…Trevor was sweet, he actually sent me flowers with an old fashioned hand written card on them. Truth be told, I was a bit flattered that someone was so after me. I thought, what the heck, why not…So I dated him…he’s a nice guy, quite likeable…but you guys, it just wasn’t there! I still remember Emma when she came back from your first date and…ughh…she had stars in her eyes! She was daydreaming! You had to yell her name three times to get her attention…”
“That’s not true! I wasn’t like that, was I?”
“Oh yes it’s very, VERY true Em and if you two continue looking at each other like that, I’m abducting the tub AND the spoons and going downstairs…This ice-cream and I have an unfinished love affair!”
The three housemates shared a hearty laugh at that. Chloe, feeling much better went on.
“…so as I was saying…it just wasn’t there. The funny thing is that Trevor was much more into me than I was into him. But, one date followed the other and I somehow couldn’t bring myself break it up. Somewhere down that road we had sex…he was only my second guy…the sex was…well…the sex was oh-kayyy…probably a five…sometimes a six…”
…Trevor…ummm…he tried to make me cum…he wasn’t one of those self-centered asshole who falls asleep after he’s busted his nut…he’d go down on me trying to bring me off…for some reason it never happened…in any case, the tales of the fabled magic land that my redhead friend over here had regaled me with countless of times were nowhere to be found…I’d either fake it or rub one off after he’d left…
…moving in with you guys was an eye-opener. I realized that the love, the chemistry, the I-feel-I’ve-known-you-for-years feeling, the sixth sense if you will…not to mention the sex…yeah “Abi-babe”, blushing won’t work with me…so anyways, to make a long story short, I got to see first-hand how a couple in love behaves and how bland my relationship was in contrast…
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